Stephen Baldwin, lame costumes, and some of the worst visual effects in the history of light? I’m in heaven!

Two preview clips from my feature-length Video On Demand iRiff, available Nov. 5 at Rifftrax.com.

I have an idea for a mind-blowing sci-fi story about a man who discovers a small Time Hole in his closet. Only a few inches in diameter, it’s not large enough for him to pass through. He determines that it must be a portal to the past, because through it wafts the scent of homemade cornbread. He decides to send a potato through the portal, and does so with much pageantry and fanfare. For two years he wanders the streets, looking for the slightest sign that his interaction with the past has altered history in any way. Alas, not a single detail seems to have changed. Then one day, in a video store, he happens to glance into the bargain bin. There he discovers a worn VHS copy of a feature length movie version of Rob Schneider’s “You like-a da juice?” character from the Greek restaurant sketches on Saturday Night Live in the mid 90’s. “That’s funny,” he thinks, “I don’t remember them making a movie about that character…” Soon after he is fatally run over by a recreational vehicle.

The reader is left to draw his/her own conclusions. It’s called “The Guy Who Stuffed a Potato Through His Time Hole.” All rights reserved.

Every day on my break I walk around the campus here at Nyack College and regard the famous “gate to nowhere.” If I had more free time and/or was British I’d write a series of whimsical children’s novels about it. Then those books would be turned into bloated feature films with shoddy merchandise and Burger King tie-ins. Then I’d buy Canada.

Apparently this is old, but it’s new to me. From a Norwegian comedy show.

I can’t decide whether my love for this video is ironic or not.

The group is Sonseed. Hat tip to steev richter.

Richard Wright of Pink Floyd

The man who wrote “The Great Gig In The Sky” and “Us and Them” has passed. Pink Floyd’s Richard Wright is dead at 65 after a “short battle with cancer.” I suppose this is the final word on a Floyd reunion tour. God bless his family.

Michael Palin: a wholesome, religious man.

According to Twitter and Facebook, lots of people hate this founding member of Monty Python. C’mon, gang, give him a break!

Another awesome Comic-con has come and gone. Photos are up on my Flickr stream.

This is a small yard in Cape May, NJ filled with fascinating junk sculptures. This goat was my favorite.

More at my Flickr stream.

Brian Scolaro and pals are still at it. Check out VooDooWop.

‘Rent Me’ is an occasional feature wherein I briefly recommend a DVD for rental.

Billy Wilder’s Ace in the Hole is one of his best and most overlooked satires. Kirk Douglas plays a newspaper man named Chuck (hmm…) who slithers into Albuquerque and a job as a reporter. After months of patiently biding his time, he seizes the opportunity of a mining accident to exploit both the victim and the local residents.

Ace is satire but not comedy, and it’s about as dark as you can get. I went into it expecting fast-paced, cutesy dialog and a flawed-but-charming protagonist. I didn’t expect a portrait of malice and exploitation that says things about the media which are even more relevant today than they were in 1951. Between the disingenuous and lascivious wife of the man trapped in the mine (Jan Sterling), the corrupt local sheriff (Ray Teal) and Douglas’ shameless Chuck Tatum, Ace in the Hole makes its point with a pretty brutal honesty.

Oh, and it’s really good. Available in a nice special edition from the Criterion Collection.

Cartoon Brew’s Jerry Beck has announced this year’s ‘Worst Cartoons Ever’ event for 9:30pm on Friday, July 25th at San Diego Comic-Con. We’ve caught this painfully funny show the last two years and it’s a hoot. Glad to hear it’s back this year, and that it won’t conflict with the epic MST3K panel. Between these events, the live Rifftrax show, and the usual shenanigans, it’s gonna be a juicy con this year.